1. |
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i don't think god forgives
he's a pissy old bitch with a fraud of a son
all anyone ever wants is somebody
can you be the one to kill me?
i've prepared so much for my death
an explosion, a hanging, a standoff with pigs
but i think this time i'm going to sink
sink to the bottom of this lake
somewhere i can be anybody else
you kissed a girl with bright violet eyes
and you still see them when you turn off your headlights
you both danced to teen suicide and blew smoke in each other's mouths
to keep any semblance of bad vibes and doubt
out of your mind, out of your heart
is what she wanted to be
that's why she always wanted to leave
and you scream into your voice memos:
"i need someone who understands."
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2. |
ㅤ
01:40
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i'm just a dreamer in heaven
please don't hurt me
i'm not what you kissed last fall
i'm just a girl who was tortured
please don't touch me
i'm not the girl in that snuff film
not anymore
"those screams, man. they never leave you."
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3. |
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strawberry intestines run through you
it makes you whole to be on your knees
being taken forcefully
do you feel pretty now?
weak knees and death machines
make me make myself bleed
throwing dumb arteries at your face
can you help me bleed?
making myself sink into the ocean
find me, kiss me, fuck off
kissing contest outside gym class
sweat combined with flesh
to make me care
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4. |
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5. |
y33rb00k
01:00
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A picture in the yearbook staring me down
All year with this "more than infatuation"
I can't touch her, and I hear her voice to me
It calls, and all my bravery
Falls grounding by the thought of it all
I look in the yearbook chasing me, in my head I'm mistaken
I am making her more than a person could've been
But I believe in my own lies, instead of pain it's anger I feel
Because I made it unreal in my head
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6. |
drowning, pt. 1
01:47
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baby it's alright
i will be seeing you soon
when i'm down at the bottom of the ocean
when i'm drowning, i will think of you
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7. |
my little bleeding angel
01:08
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lungs turning into black dust
my baby, you're a bleeding angel
and most other people don't even get that far
so what does that say about our ability to thrive?
you aren't going to live tonight
you're going to drown in the marina
and you won't be able to save yourself
because you still don't have your wings
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8. |
d1r7
02:54
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there is a notion in ur skull at least there's motion when I crawl ur elbow is sharp against my ribs and mine is dull I have learned to start and stall there is nothing for me here/ there is a woman in her sleep who fills me bottles feeds me teeth she peels an apple with her nails
and there is dirt and there is juice and I am mixing up the two I am dragged- clenched by u
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9. |
social hikikomori
01:45
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she would hold your hand everywhere you went
and you would kiss her after every fucking sesh
and nothing seems to come out of your mouth
except for vomit, lies, and blood
and i think: "would you have kissed me if i were more pretty and cool and charming and understanding of harry potter lore?"
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10. |
drowning, pt. 2
03:18
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i wish i could lucid dream
so i could drown in everything that i've made for myself
my bed has been made since last year
and yet i'm still so hesitant to sleep
nobody misses a missing person
when they're found with a baggie of pills at the bottom of the ocean
they just put another number on the ever-growing statistic
and i'm put into a slideshow about declining mental illness
i think i'm killing my friends, little by little
every second i'm around
i wanna drown in the marina
i don't mind just becoming a statistic
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elizabeth whitington Martinez, California
she was easily distracted and got lost in her own head.
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